Vodafone

So apparently if you don't do much exercise and eat a lot of food, you put on weight.  For the last 4 years I have spent almost 7 hours a day sat at my desk not moving very much and eating loads of food.  When I first started working I was going training 4 or 5 times a week, polo, football and climbing fairly regularly.  I think I was also traveling around Cardiff more on my bike and I was maintaining my weight between 12 and a half to 13 stone. 

I am still playing polo and football, and occassionally climbing, but it came as no shock when I weighed myself and I was over 14 stone.  I had noticed in the last few months that I was getting tired more quickly at football, but assumed it was because I hadn't eaten properly during the day or something.  And due to Helen moving in with me the scales had been hidden away (apparently women like to live in denial more than men).

This led to a drastic, unusual, and somewhat crazy idea... go on a diet.

The idea of the diet was simple, not to catch GDS (General Dynamics Syndrome).  This is a certified medical condition where if you work at GD, you get fat.  There are some people imune to this affliction, and it affects some more than others, but it is real, and it is a ticking timebomb.  My diagnosis was in, early signs of GDS.  Untreated, there are walking, talking future versions of myself in every corner of my building, all taunting me with what I will become.

The other factor in this diet is the competition with Rob.  His aim to get ripped, and he has 9 month program to get a 6-pack.  I also want a 6-pack, but I mainly want to be fitter and better at sport. 

Today it has been 5 weeks and 1 day since we started the diet, and I've lost 1 stone and 3 pounds, and now weigh 12 stone 12.  Not bad.

Anyway, today I received my new Vodafone sim card in the post, after being with O2 for the last 12 years.  I felt kind of bad, but ahh well, now I can 3G while I poop!

Dashed Hopes

Tonight I went out for dinner with my girlfriend and her friend.  The evening was very pleasant and the food was very tasty, and especially good as we used the Tastecard and got it all for £30, although it was bad for my diet as they were both a bit pathetic with their food. 

When we got home we watched Spartacus and saw a nude girl smash another nude girls head in, and inspired by this we googled ourselves nude.  There was a man sucking another man off when we searched for me, and loads of other interesting images, I thought it was nice.  Then my girlfriend asked her friend to kiss me!  She said no.  I was sad, not only because she said no, but because it was all a mean trick and it was never going to happen.  It's only 11.26 now though and I don't know what's going to happen next.... most likely sleep.

The day the earth stood still

Today I am sick.  It has been exactly a year since I was last off sick.  Last year I think I had more of an excuse, dislocated shoulder and all that...  In fact it was almost exactly a year ago on the 8th July 2011 that I posted my first blog (while off sick) and in that time I have literally tripled my followers.  Hopefully in the next year I can triple my followers again!  Maybe I need some tactics to go about doing this like advertising amazon stuff and posting my blog on Facebook and shit.

Anyway, nostalgia is not the reason for this post, although it helped with the introduction... It is to describe in comical detail some of the events that have happened in 2012.  This is in chronological order, and each item should have had it's own blog post at the time... Bad blogger.

No. 1 highlight
Thierry Henry back at Arsenal, he won the game against Leeds...  Sorry Moylesy!  But he had a ridiculous beard and shaved head.  I was happy that he got to see his own statue and that he didn't let it go to his head...

No. 2 highlight
Homemade Sushi.  Look at this shit.  It's better than Japan.

No. 3 highlight
Skiing!

Skiing is awesome.  Rob, you should definitely come with us next time.

We also learned a valuable lesson on this trip.  Dave's words in my voice make women do what ever we want.  Especially if one is Norwegian and the other is Swedish.  Girlfriends may become emotional though.  You also get the chance to do some sweet goggles photos.

You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run!

No. 4 highlight
Budapest stag do!

The first weekend of February I went on my first stag do.  It was for my little friend Ryan, aka the Mauritian with attitude.  I’ve never called him that, nor have I ever wanted to, but I was reading the Brown Shirt Kru blog for some reason and I’ve given him that nickname.  

While we were there, we did a banger rally.  I use rally in the loosest possible sense of the word, it was a drive in a shit car from the city to a restaurant, where I couldn't eat anything due to hangover and my inability to eat food while on holiday.  The highlight of the drive was Tesh having to pay £30 for writing off a car!  The photo doesn't do it justice, but 2m further down the road was a shrine to someone who had previously crashed and died there... and the back axel had snapped.

I know we signed up to a banger rally, but this was ridiculous, we were driving on the road, in the snow, in cars that didn't have breaks and we were just given the keys, nothing was checked or anything!

We also got drunk, watched girls take off their clothes, met the announcer from From Dusk Till Dawn, got offered some Chernobyl tits, had some feuds and truces, and made some snow angels.  I also enjoyed waiting outside McDonald's for it to open at 6am. 

Anyway, I’ve worked it out and his wedding is going to cost me over £600!  When I got back from the trip, I watched Arsenal lose 4-0 to AC Milan, and they looked worse than the GD squad.  Evening ruined.  


No. 5 highlight
Cardiff, the celeb hangout!

 No. 6 highlight
 Beef Wellington.  Look at that mother fucker.  It looks like a hat.

Balsamic bacon and red cabbage on the side too.  Yum.

No. 7 highlight

Scott Mills’ last ever show - he did the best only bloody Friday ever.  I was upset that I may never be able to hear him again, except every Friday when I finish work early and he is still on.

Today, RVP let us know he wouldn't be signing a new contract :( The day the earth stood still (was on TV)